Just Bear With Me

Bear with me while I use this blog to once again keep myself from dissolving into a puddle of tears or my head from exploding.  So.... (I tend to start serious subjects with that word). I had to get ahold of my new apartment complex today to sort out why they wanted me to pay rent in by June when my lease doesn't start until August. It's basically so they can determine who's definitely renting, and try to lease out the apartments from the people who are definitely not renting.  And then I don't have to pay rent until September. ^-^  The problem is that my financial aid doesn't kick in until the fall semester starts, and I'm already having to use what little loan money I have left for summer tuition.  Money which, since I hadn't planned on taking any summer classes when we sat down and figured out loans, I'm already running low on.  Like, I won't even have enough left to pay rent on this place for ONE month, let alone three.

Next problem:  Job.  My not having one over the summer was totally out of the question to begin with since I'd planned on going back to the exchange.  The dilemma is, do I stay here over the summer and work here, or do I go home and work there, and still pay rent either way?  I'll be paying for everything on my own here, like groceries and Internet and such, and I won't be paying that at home.  But at home, I'll be paying rent on an apartment I'm not even staying in.  I'm also torn in a minor manner between communities/friends in both places, though that's not factoring in quite as much.  If I do stay here, my lease is up 12 days before my other one starts, so I'll also have to haul everything home and then haul it all back.

Next problem:  Where in the heck is this money going to come from?!?!  I HAVE NO MONEY.  Even with a job, that's barely going to cover rent on this place, how the heck am I going to pay for my first month's rent at the other place?

Add all of that to the amount of papers/essays/exams/homework I've got in the next two weeks and you get the general idea as to my state of mind right now.